Now 2 weeks into 2017, I have been thinking a lot about the past year and what I want to change in 2017. I usually don’t really feel like this at the beginning of a new year, but what a year has 2016 been… that it makes me want to make some changes in my life to be a happier, healthier and calmer person.
From September 2015 to June 2016, I had been studying as an Erasmus student at the University of Birmingham, something I had been wanting to do for years and was really lucky to be able to experience with my boyfriend. Looking back, I still feel so lucky to have done something so incredible, it gave me perceptive and taught me so much about the world and myself. You see things differently when you travel and living in another country makes it even more life-changing. But it has also been a tough time, from finding an apartment, to the cost of everything, to trying to control my anxiety, to the conditions of living in our apartment, being away from our families for months, studying in a different way compared to the French school system. It was definitely challenging as well as such a great experience.
I also started my blog in 2016, something I wanted to do for so long, but never got the courage to do it. I am still figuring it all out while juggling with school but I am so happy I have done it. I still struggle to find time to post but I don’t regret diving into blogging. The blogging and vlogging worlds feels somehow a bit therapeutic and relaxing.
The summer of 2016 was quite relaxing but also a bit stressful because I knew I would be starting my Master’s degree in September and moving to a new (small) city. I didn’t know if I would like it, if it really was what I wanted to do, if I would get along with people and how I would be anxiety-wise. I think anxiety has been the worse part of my year. I have been really struggling for now the past 2 years. It sometimes feels like I am living in a small box, and everytime I step out of it, I have to fight with myself every second. It was also the summer where I got to go back to Portugal to my family houses (yes plural, my four grandparents are neighbors there) after 7 years and it was so amazing and relaxing, and also so hot with about 36-41°C! It felt good to be surrounded by family and to relax. It was also an interesting week because we had no wifi or internet and I have to admit that it felt good to be able to enjoy the moment and to just entertain ourselves in the moment.
For the last months of 2016, I have realized how trapped I felt in my life and how unsatisfied I was with it. I don’t mean that everything is bad, but I am not fulfilled nor am I truly happy.
And it’s something I really want to change in 2017. I know it won’t be an overnight change, but I am trying to feel better and not to feel compelled to do what I don’t want or don’t feel comfortable doing. I also want to feel better about myself, to stop wanting to be perfect or to always want to please people but rather to feel good about who I am and what I look like and to care less about people’s opinion. I think it’s something that comes from growing up, I didn’t think like this a couple years ago not even a year ago, but I do think it can make me feel happier to be more me and less who people want me to be or who I think I have to be to be “worth it”. I am also working on my anxiety, and though I know it will be a long and difficult journey, I don’t and can’t live like this for the rest of my life. I know I will never be this totally carefree, relaxed person but leaving in fears and tension is not the way to go.
I also want to take more time for my blog as well. I have been putting too many limits last year by only posting about what I thought people would want to read about and forgetting that I should also post about what I want and what matters to me. At the end of the day, you can only please so many people but you should focus on yourself because this is what truly matters. I want to expand a bit more what I write about and care less if this is what I should post about but rather just enjoy the process. After all, isn’t that what blogging is about, writing about what makes you happy?
Health and fitness-wise, I want to take more care of myself. I have never been a junk food addict nor a potato couch person but I have never been satisfied with my body either. Now at 22 years old, I think it’s time for me to accept myself and what I look like, and to stop comparing myself to other people and Instagram impossible-to-achieve-for-a- 5’1-tall- person-who-has-not-an-amazing-metabolism figures. I keep doing research about foods and nutrition to try to find a diet that works for me and makes me feel satisfied.
But even more than this, I am more aware of my body as a lifelong system that should not be treated as a garbage bag. I am still going to treat myself from time to time because I believe in balance and I am still a humain being, but I want to be healthy and feel energetic. Food impacts my body but also my mind and I think in the long term, it could help with my mental health as well as making me a happier and
Education-wise, I want to take more chances and to try to find my path. I want 2017 to be the year I can better myself and love what I do. I only have a year and a half to figure out what I would like my job to be so wish me luck.
Do you ever look back and think about what you want to change and what you want to achieve at the beginning of a new year? Have you thought about your plans for 2017 yet?
Happy New Year to each and everyone of you. I truly hope 2017 will be an amazing fulfilling year for that it will bring you happiness.
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